The word “fuck”

I am a snob when it comes to grammar and language. I believe efficient language is the most effective way of communication.

I also believe that swearing dumbs a person down. 

“That stuff smells like shit” is so much less effective and explanatory than “that stuff smells putrid”. “Shit” doesn’t describe the smell as one would guess it does. “Shit” doesn’t necessarily mean it smells like feces, just that it smells bad. “Putrid” suggests that it smells like rotting flesh. “Putrid” allows you to envision the nastiness of whatever it is that smells. 

Many swearwords have these ambiguous meanings. I try to keep them out of my vocabulary.

And there’s my weakness.

FUCK.

Nothing is quite as relieving as saying “FUCK!” when you bang your pinkie toe on the table leg. It somehow alleviates the pain.

There is nothing as good as a solid “Fuck” when you’re relieved, or when you’re not. Nothing as good as a “Fuck me” when someone good looking walks past.

 It is such a versatile word that you can almost replace any word with. 

My favorite is when people use it as a degree of comparison. “I’m hungry as fuck”. Hmm, how hungry is fuck? Or “She’s short as fuck”. How short is fuck?

It’s like a verbal orgasm. Countries should just have “fuck you” screaming matches to replace wars.

Fuck.